Thank you for all your prayers, man have they been felt! Thanks to all of you who have responded to these emails, your words of encouragement have been such a blessing and have often times been a way God has answered a prayer.
There have only been a few times in my life where someone has said something to me, directly or even in passing, and God has used what that person said to cut straight to my heart. I would like to share two of those times with you.
I guess any of you that have heard me give my testimony, or a heavily edited version of it I should say (a topic for another email), know that all through high school, college and my early married life I had a bad drinking problem. The result of which was a series of bad events that accured during this period, no doubt God disciplining a rebellious child. But God placed someone in my life, someone I looked up to and respected, and gave that person the right words to say and put me in their presence at the right time (when I was at my lowest).
That person asked me if I had taken my family to church the previous Sunday. I said no, but before I could give my usual laundry list of excuses, all of which were lies, he looked me dead in my eyes and said, "you know your going to be held accountable for the way you lead your family, you know Gods going to hold you responsible". I quietly said, "I know, I know" but as I sat there and those words sunk in all I could think about was how my girls had already turned one and had only been in a church a handful of times. How my wife and I had not had a real conversation for over a year. The truth was that while I was living an ungodly life I was in fact saved. Just what was I going to say to God on the day that I had to stand before him and give an account of my life? How would I, after knowing Christ, explain that I never gave my children or my wife a Christ-like example for them to follow? What if because of my failure as a father, husband and spiritual leader one or more of them spends eternity separated from Christ?
Everything had to change.
I've never thanked my father for the words he said that day. I hope he knows the impact that his warning has had on my life and the life of my family. Because on that day a relationship between a husband and wife, a father and his daughters and a son and Savior began to heal. Thank you Dad for saying exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the right time.
It was 8 months later that I joined my father on my first trip to Uganda to work with ACM. It was also the first time I felt that foreign missions might be something God could lead me to do in the future. A feeling/calling that has only grown stronger with each trip since. How perfect is Gods timing?!?
The second time I want to tell you about was on October 24th 2010. It was the morning our team was to leave the ranch in Uganda. Me and someone (I'm not sure who) drove ACMs truck over to Wayne's house to drop it off along with some stuff the team was leaving behind. As we stood in the house two college age girls (Joy and Sarabeth), who were on a three month mission trip of their own with ACM, came into the house. As we talked one of them said in passing how much we must be missing home, to which I said. "it's not home that I miss but my family," and "if I could have my family there with me I would be home", to which she replied "why don't you bring them then?" The first thought that went through my mind was "easy for you to say! You're young, or younger, single and don't have a spouse and kids to consider!". So I dismissed her comment, said good bye and headed back to the other side of the ranch for breakfast.
As the team ate, the AHI and ACM staff came to say goodbye. As they did so the tears began to fall, from staff members and team members. You may not know this about me, but I don't do emotions very well, especially ones that involve my eyes leaking. But as staff member after staff member came and gave me a hug, most of which were crying, I felt my heart shatter. But I was strong, I swallowed my feelings...bottled them right up. I consoled those that needed consoling and assured them all that we would be back next year. All the while fighting back tears and thinking,"why are you leaving?", "why isn't your family here with you?", "who told you 'later in life'?", "you haven't even prayed about it and asked God 'when', you've only asked him 'if' ", "do you really want to follow Gods will? and if so why aren't you letting him decide when to go?". I bet that Joy or SaraBeth never thought twice about the comment they said to me that morning, but for me it changed everything.
At the same time, back in Birmingham, Alicia was at school telling her fellow classmates how excited she was that Wes was coming home soon. One of her friends, Marie, was asking her about what I do in Uganda. After telling her about the work with ACM, Alicia told her "He loves it so much! He goes pretty much every other year. If he had his way we would live there now!" For the first time instead of someone saying "oh that would be CRAZY!" or "Oh gosh, I could never do that!" Marie asked, "so why don't you?". Alicia stammered around for a while and mumbled something about the kids, but couldn't stop thinking about that question...why don't we? What scares us that God can't handle?
I find it funny that we rarely ever get to see how our comments impact each others lives both for good and bad, I bet if we did we would talk a lot differently to each other.
Oh yea, all those tears that I fought so hard to hold back? They blew up the next morning at the breakfast table in front of my family. I went to bless the the food and instead of saying grace all the family got was a bunch of incoherent sentences and uncontrollable sobbing. Three months later and I'm still crying, Alicia to .
As God breaks our hearts for the people he would have us serve the tears continue fall, and for the first time in my life I'm able to feel others pain, to put my self in their shoes, it's been great. Our family has had more spiritual growth in the past three months than in the past 13 years. Its funny how fast God can do a good work in you if you only slow down long enough for him to do so.
There's a song by Sanctus Real called Legacy and in that song there's a verse that says "all these inventions steal my attention from real life". That is so true! We have found that if would just turn off the T.V., pick up the bible a little more, join a reading group, ask others to pray for us and just focus our attention on the father instead of all that he has blessed us with, His voice suddenly becomes crystal clear.
As Alicia and I sat in church Sunday morning listening to Buddy preach I kept thinking "Man! I know I've heard Buddy preach this same sermon before!" and as I listened I realized were I had heard it from. I heard pretty much the same sermon the night before on a Charles Stanley podcast. And thats not the first time something like that has happened. In fact it's happening all the time. Alicia and I looked at each other as if the same thought had just passed through each of our heads at the same time. I leaned over and said "you know that there's no question about the call", she smiled and said "I know". The call has been confirmed, we are almost certain of the country and the organizations. We are both praying for more clarity on those. Hopefully I'll get those answers in a few weeks.
Thank yo so very much for your prayers
Love the Wilbanks family.
