Update from Alicia!

Wyatt and friends

Home on the ranch

Some highlights from our trip to far...

• Wyatt singing "thank you Jesus" in swahili on the plane with a young woman from DRC (he learned the song in choir at our church!)

• Hearing Dolly Parton over the radio in the mall in Kampala singing "Joleen"

• Susan, our helper in our house, cooking us an amazing rice & beans dinner our first night

• Flooding Wayne's house...twice!

• Sharing a lunch of PB sandwiches with Wyatt's new Ugandan friends, Caleb & Opia

• Susan's chipatis!

• From Katie Mae "I love that here, everywhere you go you see people's footprints"          (she meant because most of the Ugandans walk barefoot, but I think about all of the people who have made a difference in this place & have left their prints all over :)

• Drinking hot tea on our front porch after dinner, admiring our amazing view...an open area of green grass & crooked trees.  (The kids don't see what Wes & I find so amazing about it:)

• The girls laughing every time Susan calls me "mommy"

• Watching the cows get dipped

• Ashley coming up with a bunch of great ideas for revitalizing the primary school playground. (Right now it is pretty unsafe, but that is one of the projects the Hunter St team will be working on week after next)

• Long walks with the kids

• Calling home & running out of minutes...again...

• Homemade bread

• Watching a baby cow be born on mother's day!

• Long talks with Susan about the differences between America & Uganda

• Language & cultural barriers galore!  Making for some pretty funny situations!

• Praying with the blind man we keep running into

• Walking to our friend's house to find Wyatt on the porch surrounded by Ugandan children playing UNO

• Preparing for Wyatt's surprise birthday party feast with all of the mzungus on the ranch!

• So many friends coming down with malaria...Carlos, Caleb, the clinic nurse Florence, and many Ugandan children.

Thank you all for your prayers!  Please keep them coming.  We love &
miss you all!!

Can You Hear Them?

(A poem written by our daughter, Katie Mae)

Listen to their thoughts, can you hear them?

Watch into their dreams, can you understand them?

See into their pain, can you feel them?

Wanting to make a difference takes its toll, but you keep pressing on

keep on going forward, and you keep on looking straight. 

Leaving the ones you love, being left behind, and watching as the rest of the world moves on.

Jumping on the plane, riding, riding, and riding, but you keep on riding and you never stop.

So you take a chance and jump off, and you soar.

Soaring with the moon and the stars, just to land and be with the world.

The world that never stopped moving and never gave you a second thought.

You land with the ones you had to leave behind, hoping it'll be the same, but you've changed.

You've heard their thoughts, watched their dreams, and felt their pain.

What does that mean, "missions work"?

That is the question that was posed to me Monday by our pediatrician's nurse.  We were at the doctor's office getting the kids the last of their needed shots for our trip when she started asking what we would be doing in Uganda.  When I told her it was for a missions trip she asked "So what will you be doing there?  Mostly missions work?" I answered "yes" and then she made me pause, "what does that mean, "missions work"? I hear people say it all of the time but I don't really understand what that is." I must have stammered out something that satisfied her and I have no idea what I said, but her question has stayed with me ever since.  What do I or you or anyone else mean when they say, "missions"?

I think lots of different people have lots of different definitions to what "missions" entails.  

For some it means telling people the plan of salvation.  For some it means living missional.  For some it means being a missionary.  And for others it means reaching out to people of a different faith.  

There's another idea that has plagued me for the two years that we have been working towards Uganda…"you can't just jump on a plane to go do missions overseas and become someone who is missions minded, doing missions begins at home".  For two years I've struggled with wondering if I'm being missional enough at home to warrant going to Uganda to do missions.  I've tried to get involved in various missions organizations and have looked for opportunities to support other missionaries…not so much because I felt led to do so, but because I felt like my going to Uganda wouldn't be justified unless I had some kind of home missions opportunities to put on my imaginary missionary resume.  I was desperately trying to create some good works to validate my call.  

The bad thing is…my body rebels agains good works.  Not that I don't like doing good things, I just don't like the legalistic, earn your way to heaven, kind of thinking that has been the thorn in my side for way too long. The one that God has slowly been chiseling out of me and replacing with grace, grace and more grace.  Anyone who knows me could guess which brother I've always identified with in the prodigal son story.  

I shop at Aldi's Grocery Store about once a week.  It's a super cheap grocery store in our city where you pay a quarter to get a buggy and bag your own groceries with bags you bring from home.  I always say that it's a type of missions field because there are always people from every walk of life, every language and I'm sure, every religion shopping there.  I love it!  I always end up making a connection with someone when I'm there.  One day it was the sweet elderly man who dropped his cane, my son picked it up and the man bought us candied apples we enjoyed all the way home.  Another day it was the woman trying to get her 4 small kids in the car while her buggy rolled away in the parking lot.  We ended up laughing over how hard life is with several kids as I retrieved it for her and helped her get her groceries into her trunk.  It's not handing out tracks or making a gospel presentation, I don't have to force it or plan for it, but it sure feels missional.  

Today it was a young girl at wal-mart that was buying hundred of dollars of stuff, realized she lost her debit card while checking out, found her debit card after several minutes of frantic searching, had her card declined several times, borrowed the cashier's cell phone, and called the bank to get money transferred to cover her purchases.  She never really apologized but you could tell she was embarrassed as she whispered "it's been the worst day".  I told her it was fine, that I was in no hurry and then told her I hoped her day would get better from here as I left.  She gave me a smile and a sincere "thank you" as she collected her things.  It wasn't until I got to the car, 28 days before we leave to go be missionaries, that it hit me…I AM a missionary at home. 

I believe that whenever you follow Jesus' example, whenever you strive to be like Him, you're "doing missions".  Whenever you love on someone the way Christ would have loved on someone, you're "doing mission work".  Whenever you live an open life, willing to share the gospel whenever the opportunity arises (even if it doesn't), you're living a "missional" life.  

My husband and I often tease about how much we don't fit into society's view of what a "missionary" is.  I'm a terrible house keeper.  I love 80s rap music.   I lose my temper with my kids.  I lose my temper with my husband.  I lose my temper with myself.   I love to dance. I don't homeschool (though I haven't ruled it out).  I joined my first bible study a couple months ago.  I'm definitely not crafty (though I REALLY try).  I'm on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram & Vine.  I love to buy cute short dresses but also love a cute maxi skirt.  I do wear my hair in a bun, but because I'm a dancer, not because of my conservative style.  I've made a billion mistakes and I'll make a billion more before the end of the week. I'm a mess. I've definitely not attained the level of holiness needed in order to be called to do mission work. 

The more and more I review my imaginary missionary resume, the more and more I see how unqualified I am, how unqualified my family is, for what He is calling us to do.  And He keeps reminding me that it's not OUR qualifications that justify our call, it is Christ in us that justifies our call. And it is our willingness to display Christ in us to those around us that makes us all missionaries, whether we're at Wal-Mart or halfway around the world.  


"And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another… "       1 John 3:23 

Burnout

Before the holidays I felt like once we got past them I would be able to start really investing some time in getting ready for this trip.  In my mind I had decided that we would have one more big fundraising push to get the last of the $1,500 or so that we needed to meet our goal & the rest of my time would be spent purchasing supplies, finding suitcases, getting the kids shots, etc.  Just really doing the last minute things we need to do before we leave.

Now two months later, I can be honest with you & say that I haven't done any of those things.  And I haven't really felt like it.  One of my friends called it "Africa Burnout" and I guess that is what it was.  Not that I was burned out on wanting to go or the mission that God has called us to, but that I was burned out on trying to make everything happen the way I wanted it to.  I was tired of trying to think up new ways to fundraise that wouldn't continue to look for support from our core group of supporters (who I'm sure were feeling some "Africa burnout" in their wallets!) but would cast a wider net.  I was tired of trying to think of every little thing we might need while we were there & what I might be forgetting.  I was tired of trying to live in two worlds, one here full of electricity & ample water & grocery stores on every corner and trying to decide what I need for the one there with spotty solar power, precious water that needs to be conserved at every opportunity & a grocery store 1 1/2 hours away.  I know seasoned missionaries are laughing at me right now, this is so what they deal with on a daily basis!  But that is where the Father of Deception found me & started whispering…

 "If you can't deal with it now, how can you ever think you could deal with it when you are there?"

"you'll never make it"

"your fundraising has stalled because no one believes in what you are doing"

"once you get over there you are completely on your own"

"are you sure God wants YOU to do this?"

"You will probably mess it all up"

To say I was discouraged is putting it mildly. But slowly, God kept pulling me back to his promises…

"When you can't walk anymore, you will be carried"

"You are sealed, to live is Christ & to die is gain"

"You are loved"

"I am still good"

"You have been called"

"You are forgiven & set free"

And he has used so many people to minister to us, love on us & lift us up at just the right times!  

So finally, with a little bit of trepidation, last night we looked at our fundraising, added everything up & came to a total.  We were $390 short.  Amazing!!!  With no fundraising done in months & 69 days to go until we leave we only had $390 to go!  Wes & I were both blown away by what God had done through people we love.  

Wes quickly put up a Facebook post to share our excitement with our friends.  Within minutes we had two friends offering to donate towards the balance!  Within seconds we received our newest funds update from African Children's Mission…we now only had $60 to go!!  With what we have received to date plus the promised funds from our friends we have not only met our fundraising goal, we've exceeded it!!!  There were other items that we wanted to add to our budget but didn't because we felt like we were already setting such a high goal. Now we will be able to add those items in as well!  I cannot begin to tell you how excited, humbled, in awe of our creator, in awe of the goodness of our friends & family and thankful we are for this gift.  

The awesomeness of seeing God work in the most amazing ways, the incredible feeling of knowing there are people that believe in what you are doing so much that they would share their hard earned money to make it happen, these things make the burnout soooo worth it.  

We really cannot wait to come home in July & share everything that God did because of the gifts & prayers of faithful people that supported us!  That will be such an amazing day!!

Maybe someday I'll learn to lean on God first & not try to control everything myself.  I do it all the time.  And every time he is faithful to come through, even at the last minute.  I would like to say that I have such great faith that I never doubt, never believe he needs my help, never think "maybe it won't happen" but that would be a lie.  Maybe someday I'll remember to glorify him with every bump in the road so he won't have to go to such lengths to get my attention!  I'm so hard headed! Until then I'll be thankful for his grace & mercy in rescuing me just when I think all is lost, and putting people in my life that are truly his hands and feet…I'm sure I'll need to be reminded again, but right now I'm off to go get the kids their shots! 

"Praise the Lord, all nations!  Praise him, all peoples! His love for us is strong & his faithfulness endures forever.  Praise the Lord!" Psalms 117

Nnyo, Nnyo, Nnyo!

There are only a few months left until our family says goodbye to family and friends, hauls our very heavy suitcases into a car and boards a plane for an 18 hour flight to a little country in East Africa.  Although we've been preparing for this trip for nearly two years, it's hard to believe we are really so close to getting on that plane.  

When we first admitted to each other that we felt God leading us to Uganda, I really thought our journey would begin when we got on the plane and landed in Uganda for three months of serving with African Children's Mission.  Little did I know, or really understand, the journey God would take us on this year.

Some highlights from 2012:

- We broke the news of our Uganda plans to our families, something we were very scared and nervous to do but because we did, we have experienced more support and love from them than we ever expected.

- We received overwhelming love and support from our Sunday School class and church family at HSBC when we finally began speaking about our call.

- I went on my FIRST trip to Uganda!  It was Wes' 6th. Though the first two days were bumpy, full of self-doubt and unrealistic expectations, by the end of the trip we were trying to figure out how to get the kids over without having to leave ourselves! :) We knew we wanted more time to explore God's call and made the official commitment to three months of cross-cultural training with African Children's Mission.

- Wes got approval from work for a three month leave of absence for our trip.  The support he has received from his work was unexpected and such an answered prayer. Some initial uncertainty led us to decide firmly that we are committed to follow God's plan for our lives even if it causes financial uncertainty.  Very scary but…

- We are learning to trust our Father.  If you had asked me a million times before this year if I trusted God with everything I would have said "absolutely!" a million times without hesitation.  This year I have learned that what I saw as trust, was really me controlling everything I possibly could while allowing God little to no room to work in my life.  If I have learned nothing else this year, learning to trust, really and truly trust God, even just the tiniest amount has completely changed how I do…just about everything.  

- 16 years after graduating high school, I finally completed my college degree! In May I graduated Cum Laude (with three kids, thank you very much!) from Birmingham Southern College with a degree in Dance Education. As a sweet Ugandan friend, Johnstone, taught me to say, "I am an artist!" 

- We began fundraising. When I say we, I mean God began our fundraising.  Honestly, we have done little to nothing to raise any funds for this trip.  Every fundraiser, from painting parties to garage sales to Boston Butts to T-Shirts has all been done by friends or family.  Well, technically we put on the garage sale to get rid of a little extra stuff, but mostly things from a business my side of the family recently closed.  My parents and sisters then decided they would rather donate the profits from the garage sale to our trip, that was ALL God! 

- Our kids got their first passports & are officially Frequent Flyer card holders! They'll never admit it, but they agree with us that this is pretty cool! 

- We left our old Sunday School class, full of friends we consider family…people we have grown, moved, cried and celebrated with for almost 10 years and who have supported us tremendously during this time, for Wes to become the teacher of another SS class.  While this wasn't in our plans at all and was one of the most difficult parts of this year, we love our new class so much!  We can also see how God might be using this experience to prepare us for what He is calling us to do in Uganda.  While this has been one of the hardest parts of following God's will this year, it has also probably been the most rewarding as we've gotten to know and love so many new friends and have already seen how God has used them to bless us.  

- The first Jr. Board style group for African Children's Mission, PWC, was created.  Through this group we've been able to work more closely with our incredible friend, Jamie, who is one of the most special people I've ever met and has such a heart and passion for ACM, Uganda and Jesus Christ.  By focusing on the goal to support ACM and promote the work God is doing through them, this group has established a ACM Facebook page with weekly updates and has already been able to raise nearly $8,000 towards necessities for ACM children through their Christmas Sponsorship drive.  I can't wait to see what this group accomplishes in 2013! 

- We've seen friends drift away.  Definitely another one of the hardest parts of this year has been seeing people pull away from us as we get closer and closer to leaving.  A very wise very sweet prayer warrior friend of mine called me out of the blue a couple months ago.  She warned me that dear sweet friends might start pulling away in an effort to protect themselves from being hurt when we leave.  It had never occurred to me until she spoke those words at that moment that many of our friends were doing just that.  How precious of God to give her those words for me so that I could respond to these friends in love and understanding instead of anger and bitterness.  I still pray for a renewal of those friendships, but I can't blame them for wanting to move on and I still love them dearly.

- We celebrated as our son made it 12 and then 13, then 14, now 15 months seizure free!  What a huge answered prayer and blessing upon blessing from God!  Please continue to pray for our son as we meet with his Neurologist in January to discuss his continued treatment for epilepsy.  

- We went to ALOT of football games!  Between the girls dancing with their middle school dance team and me coaching the JV dance team at the high school, we spent most of our Monday, Thursday & Friday nights at one stadium or another! Seeing my daughters dancing together on the same field was so special, not to mention that they are smart and beautiful and look pretty cute in sequins!  It was also amazing to be one of the coaches on the field at the State Championship Game in Auburn as I watched my dancers perform for the last time.  I consider my job teaching and mentoring these girls such an enormous gift and love every minute of it.

- We purchased our plane tickets!  It's official, we leave for Uganda at 11:45 am on May 2nd!

- We helped my sister, best friend, business partner, and main source of support outside of Wes, move her family 10 hours away.  A few months later, we helped move my grandmother 4 hours away.  While these moves might be what was best for each them, they were heart wrenching for me.  My sister was definitely the hardest.  But with each move and every tear shed, I knew that God was preparing me for an even harder goodbye in a few months and that He was calling me to trust Him over and over again. What a bittersweet lesson.

- We saw the creation, through the handwork and support of many many people, the first ever ACM Short-Term Missionary Handbook & Devotional.  This labor of love will hopefully prepare short-term missionaries physically and spiritually for the work they will do in Uganda and will help them to return home with a renewed passion for those things that are close to God's heart. 

- While we are definitely not going to change career plans to modeling anytime soon, we recently had our first ever professional family pictures made…no, not at Sears.  We're talking on location, with just the right lighting, beautiful talented photographer family pictures.  I know, many of our friends have these done twice a year and it shouldn't be a big deal, but this was a first for us and we are super excited about the results!  

More than anything else, 2012 has seen us learn more about our Father, our selves, and our relationship with Him.  None of what has been accomplished in 2012 has been done under our own power, but through the power of God. If anything, our biggest lesson has been that His promises are true, that His strength is glorified in our weakness, that we can accomplish nothing without Him but that He will never leave us. 

Like I said, I originally thought this journey would begin in Uganda, but we've learned quickly that our journey began when we said, "yes".  God has already taught us so much and we still have so much to learn, but we are so very very blessed.  In Luganda, the language spoken in our area of Uganda, they say, "webale nnyo" which means "thank you very much" but people often add several "nnyo"s when something is so good..better than good…more than expected…much much much.  That was 2012 for us, nnyo nnyo nnyo.  

"But God was merciful! We were dead because of our sins, but God loved us so much he made us alive with Christ, and God's gift of undeserved grace is what saves you!" Ephesians 2:4-5

Learning to Pray with Belief

A few weeks ago Dr. David Hogg served as a guest preacher at our church.  While preaching on Joy in Prayer & Thanksgiving leading up to the Thanksgiving holiday, he told a story from when he was in seminary.  A young African man was in his study group and asked for prayer about a serious situation regarding the safety of his wife and children while he was away at school.  On their next meeting, the rest of the group desperately wanted an update on the situation but the young man was surprised at their asking. "Didn't we ask God to protect them? Why would you then ask me if they were protected?" What faith.

Throughout this journey there has been a million times that I have prayed or asked for prayer about something and then stressed out like crazy about whether or not God would answer that prayer. How dumb am I?

The biggest example has obviously been in fundraising.  Over and over again I've crunched the numbers, over and over again I've tried to grab the reigns away from God and make things happen on my time instead of waiting on His, over and over again I've doubted…everything.  I KNOW God is in control, but I don't act like it very often.

Recently some sweet friends put on a fundraiser for us by selling smoked Boston Butts.  We were so humbled by their offer…and then I started worrying.  How many people have ordered?  How much money will we get?  What do we think we'll make total?  Did I tell enough people about it often enough?  We still have so much money to raise, what else can I do to get the word out?  Is my flyer snazzy enough?

It was exhausting because I was trying to do it all within my own power.  Finally, I said enough and let go.  The last count I got before I let go was around 25 butts.  The final count was 59 and we made around $1,000.  I'd definitely say God out sold me!

There is no doubt that I will have to learn this lesson a billion more times in the next 152 days (and the next 100 years!) but it was awesome to see what God can do in and through the people we love and that love us when we let go and let Him work.  We continually get sweet phone calls and emails encouraging us, asking how to pray for us and donating financially to our mission trip.  With a little more than 5 months to go, we have a little more than $5,000 to raise.  We are continually longing to be working on the ground in Uganda, to be with the people God has put such a love in our hearts for but we believe that this calling is from God and is in His will so we know He will make this a reality.  What an honor it is to be in this situation, seeing God work first hand despite my doubt and control issues!

Like Dr. Hogg's friend, I want to pray according to God's will, believing that He will answer me, without doubting that He will do what He's promised me He will.

"It is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us-whatever we ask-we know that we have what we asked of him." ~ 1John 5:14-15

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

A little Tom Petty for your enjoyment! :)  Seriously though…why is the waiting the hardest part?  Shouldn't the challenge itself be the hardest part?

Joseph, Marco, Isreal, Faith, Inno, Alicia, Benja & Enyana

Throughout this process, our family has been acutely aware that God is continually teaching us and refining us for the trials and challenges that lay ahead.  Sometimes (read: all the time) we want to rush this process and just BE OVER THERE ALREADY!!  

Being reminded that, "God's timing is perfect" is so true but still frustrating sometimes.  I, especially, am such a control freak.  I just want to go through the steps it takes to get us there, get on the plane and be in Uganda now!  Obviously that isn't God's plan. Boo :(

As we wait it's easy to just let go of our dream of Uganda and get sucked back into life here.  It's easy to stress about the line at the grocery store or even the election…what's hard is keeping our eyes on our future, working towards that goal and not letting the things of today distract us.  So often people have told us "you're here in this room, but you can tell your hearts aren't really HERE".  

We miss Uganda.  We miss our friends.  We are anxious for answers that can only come from Him.  

We've bought our tickets, our flights are booked, some of our luggage is already there.  We're just waiting on Him to provide a way to make it all a reality.  

Sometimes I worry about what we are missing here by leaving our hearts there.  Sometimes I worry that I'm romanticizing what it will be like with three kids in Africa, so far away from my constant sources of support here in the US.  Sometimes I worry about the risk of the kids getting hurt, or sick so far from western medicine.

But then I think about what it will be like to watch Wyatt try to keep up with the kids at Ekitangaala playing soccer while trying to tell them about Jesus…or Ashley reading to a bunch of sweet babies rapt with attention under a giant jackfruit tree…or Katie Mae becoming best friends with a Ugandan teenager…or our whole family sitting on our porch under the most stars you've ever seen in your whole life…or watching Wes teaching a young Ugandan man lessons his daddy should have taught him…and I think, I guess I can wait just a little longer.  177 days longer, but who's counting? 

Isaiah 8:17-18a "The LORD has hidden himself from his people, but I trust him and place my hope in him.  Here I am with the children the LORD has given me."